'11th time lucky for me!'

When I was 14, I caught my big sister smoking and told her to hand over some cigs or I'd tell Mum. That’s when I started smoking – and it's taken more than 20 years to find a way to stop.
 
I did manage to quit once, but then I met Paul and he smoked so I started again. Before long, I was back to 20 cigarettes a day. Then I fell pregnant with Emma and we both vowed to kick the habit because it was bad for the baby.
 
I managed 10 straight weeks without lighting up, but the stress of going two weeks past my due date got the better of me. I thought I'd go into hospital and just have her, but it didn't work out like that.
 
I sat in hospital for days, watching women going down to have their babies, desperate for it to be me. They said I could go home – but I said no, I just wanted her out.
 

I went outside the maternity ward for a cigarette

Eventually, I caved in to the craving for a smoke. It all felt like too much messing about, so I went outside the hospital doors and had a cigarette. It actually calmed me down a bit. That was a Sunday and Emma didn't make her appearance until the Tuesday!
 
When we took her home, I didn't smoke in the house. I smoked outside. I tried to keep the smoke away from the baby, but it was hard to quit and I was back up to about 15 cigarettes a day.
 
Paul later managed to give up for good and I wished I had his willpower. Over the years I've tried to give up smoking at least 10 times, but never managed it.
 

'Mummy, you stink!'

As Emma grew older, she made it pretty clear how she felt about me smoking. She'd wrinkle her little nose and say: 'Mummy, you stink!' So that was one good reason for wanting to quit.
 
The other was being diagnosed with high cholesterol levels like my mum. I knew smoking was one of the worst things I could be doing and swore to try to live a healthier life.
 

This time is different…

Every time I've tried to quit, I've meant it. But this time is different because I'm not trying to do it on my own. I get support at the Gaol Street Clinic in Hereford. My advisor is called Michelle Pugh and she helped Paul, too.
 
It wasn't easy to set my quit date, but Michelle really understands what it’s like. You can say anything to her and she's got good advice. I get lots of practical help and advice, which I never had when I tried to quit by myself.
 
Michelle is always there if I need to talk about how I'm doing or need help to fight off a craving. Paul used Champix [a medicine that helps reduce cravings and withdrawal symptoms] to quit and I'm seeing if that's the best choice for me. He's been really cheering me on, too.
 
So this time I'm getting the help I need to quit for good.
 
Best of all is when Emma comes up to me and says: 'Mummy, you don't stink any more!'